If there’s one thing this jack of all trades is master of, it’s getting in my own way. Right now, it’s writing this blog post, when I have no less than four projects in various stages of progress out on the table right now (and another three on the ottoman next to me…and supplies for another two…). Fair enough, you might think, because blogging is on today’s to-do list anyway.
Except I’m avoiding that too. I’ve flicked through Facebook, ostensibly to check the time for an event – said event isn’t until Friday lunch time and I wouldn’t need to confirm actual time until approximately 9am Friday. Checking the time didn’t require the amount of scrolling I did while I was there. Or the li’l detour I took via substack on the way back to the blog. Oh wait, I posted on Insta a little while ago, I better check in.
I can’t even tell you why I’m procrastinating on all these things, that are good things, that I want to do. In theory, I should be flat out like a lizard drinking – there’s a full hour until I have to leave for soup kitchen duty, and the children are all happily occupied. Two are playing together (nicely, even), one is absorbed in his own project, and the biggest is at work. All the chores are done. I have nothing to do but suit myself for a pretty decent stretch of time.
With a large project underway on my blog, and multiple deadlines missed due to illness, you would think I would be chuffed with the chance to get stuck in, knock out a heap of projects, and set myself up for some bulk photo taking ready for a blogging marathon. Instead, I’m bouncing, from one to another to another, and making very little progress on any of it.
Part of it, I think, is overwhelm. With so many projects on the hop, I’m struggling to find focus. Instead, I’m fiddling around the edges of all of them and getting nowhere fast. When I look at where I’d hoped to be for my blog project by now, and where I actually am, that feels like a lot of words to find to get up to date. Another huge part, I will confess, is the pressure to make each project Super Special, worthy of inclusion. What if, my brain whispers to myself, what if the project sucks or is even just a bit mediocre, and it doesn’t fit the vibe of what I am hoping the overarching series should be? What if I use something that I started with Easter bingo, does that really count if I finish it and include it?
To say I am overthinking it is a rather impressive understatement. And the overthinking is sending me into a freeze. If I put half as much effort into the projects as I am putting into overthinking and procrastinating, each of the ten pieces I have yet to make and blog would be world renowned masterpieces. Maybe, just maybe, I need to just suck it up, get stuck in, and get them done.
That sounds reasonable…but I might just have another cuppa and maybe hang the washing as well before I do…